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Entry tags:
pc catchall | redacted | chiron
i will absolutely edit this with a pic of chiron's face later
i will absolutely edit this with a pic of chiron's face later
i will absolutely edit this with a pic of chiron's face later
i will absolutely edit this with a pic of chiron's face later
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He hears the other approach and calls out]
Then speak, friend. What ails you?
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xie lian's quiet, for a moment, and it takes him a second to settle down. when he does, he just sounds world weary. exhausted - 800 years of age finally settles on his shoulders. ]
...I know why you did what you did, today. I am sure, if I was in that same situation, I would have done the same, without any hesitation or heartbeat - and the greatest tragedy of this entire situation is that we failed to catch the person who needed most to be caught, and instead had to fall back on this.
...I am sorry, that I could not let it lie. [ xie lian says, quietly. ]
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[Head tilted slightly. There is no malice in the question, or anger. Or disappointment. Chiron is as he always is -- calm and collected, a boulder that does not move without intent.
Even given the way the trial turned out, it has not changed him]
No... even if you do not, I have no quarrel with you. You did as you saw fit, as did we all. While I would much rather have had my own death delivered to me, that is not the future we found.
[This is their reality. Crying over the details will get them nowhere]
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...and for a moment, swaps into a more humble, respectful pronoun, as he does. ]
...then this one would like to know, if you would tell me.
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[Eyes knitted. But he will speak]
There are those here who ... are important, in ways I cannot say for fear that it might come back to haunt them.
And I have given my service to seeing them protected above all else.
[...]
I ... care for him deeply, it is true. I will not deny as much. [A tired sigh, except it is tinged with fondness and amusement, that he can reach this age and still--
Well, no matter]
But that is not what guided my hand, or my decisions. We've a job to do in this Realm. Every choice I make, I hope will benefit us to the end, even if it must cause heartache along the way.
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...Those that are important - have they been gifted a special job, of some kind? You do not have to tell me any details, and I would not dare ask any names.
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Instead:]
Tomorrow, should I find myself myself brought forth as executioner, I will die instead.
[It seems that the trial did not deter Chiron from whatever drives him -- the spirit of an immortal through and through.]
... We shall see what fate awaits us.
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...Chiron. From one god to another.... no, perhaps, from a friend to another, if that does end up the case, I would ask you not to do so, and to have faith that things will work out the way that they are supposed to.
[ the way xie lian says that is much more serious - and he cannot say anything else, it seems. his gaze is imploring, and not just because he’s aware of how much archer cares. ]
My friend, I... must ask you to trust me. Please.
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It's why his response is so tardy, the words getting stuck in his throat -- he cannot just ask him to let--]
One of us would have to die. And even blind, I could physically overpower him. [His voice is a little strained, not necessarily with displeasure, but he needs to be certain Xie Lian is aware of what he asks]
If I fought back efficiently, he would die instead. Is that what you're asking me to do?
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it is unlikely that he would jump away from chiron's mindset so quickly.
he's only soft enough to be heard, his voice heavy. recognizing. ] ...I am aware of what I am asking.
I don't say this out of affection for Shiro - I am aware of the circumstances that you explain, and the possibilities within. I am sure that Shiro went out to kill someone yesterday. There were more clues than even just the letter; even if he had survived, I would have voted for him to be killed. My own sense of justice is not clouded by bias, and never has been.
I do not disbelieve the story about self defense - and I do not think Emet-Selch deserves to be punished for defending himself, either.
[ ...
he'll hear xie lian take in a breath. ]
Chiron. [ and his voice shifts, a little. it's almost pleading. begging him not to ask anything further, trying with utter seriousness to get his message across. ] I am fully cognizant of what happened - even if there are things that cannot be said, I think I may already know what those things may be.
The events of tomorrow need to happen the way they have been laid out.
As you have things you cannot explain, so too do I. I have put my faith in you to take care of me in a moment when I needed you to do so the most, and ... now, I would ask you to return the favor, and put your faith in me.
Please.
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[The gentleness from his voice has disappeared, and now there is a hard line vibrating in command.]
If this were you in such circumstances -- if Hua Cheng was the one who killed in self-defense and you were brought to execute him -- if his exact circumstances mirrored Emet-Selch's, including everything I cannot freely speak about, but you suspect nonetheless--
Would you kill him?
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[ xie lian doesn't even hesitate. ] If all the facts were exactly the same from your end and mine, I would.
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[The edge disappears in his voice, replaced with a mild gravity, and Chiron's sightless eyes drop to the ground in thought.]
... I will consider this counsel. [... tiredly] I have no choice but to.
[He and Xie Lian are similar, in that regard -- in many ways, but especially when there is a duty to fulfill, and you must keep your eyes on the fullest picture to see the best possible outcome.
And so he takes a heavy breath, releases it slowly, prays that it takes some of the effort and burden away when his chest is too tight for his likely]
Have you... spoken to Emet-Selch by now? ... Can you speak to him?
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but hopefully, hopefully, using san lang will show how important this situation is. how necessary it is, that chiron listens to him. he cannot beg any further, though --
there's a beat, and xie lian reaches out, hand against chiron's arm. ]
...I can, but - I have not, because I fear that if I do, everything I have said to you just now will not matter. Whatever you are thinking about this conversation cannot leave this very space we are sitting in. It cannot. I would swear so upon my mother and father's graves. On San Lang's life. On anything you think that matters to me, I would put my word behind it: you must hold this counsel I have given to your chest and share it with no one.
[ can he stress that enough? gods. he can only hope so. ] It may not even matter, if you are not the one chosen, but it is important enough that - as a whole, we cannot take any risks.
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[Said with a tired smile of all things. Was it not like his fight with Achilles? His own student bested him in battle, and before he died, Chiron still stole his immortality away in a cheating shot, knowing how much it would hurt the Hero -- but still doing whatever was necessary to steer him and the world on the right path.
His life has always been filled with pained beginning, middle, and ends. As is it with every life.
...
But it is heavy sometimes. It is very heavy.
The immortal eyes close as if he would not mind, suddenly, to cease existing for a while, even though he would never take a coward's way out. But those same eyes open and his expression is surprisingly gentle.
A pause, and then he nods]
Understood.
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the burden of a god, of a teacher, of a mentor - of someone who has to bear it all - is exhausting. the most powerful of men have held responsibility on their shoulders, and xie lian is no exception. and he knows, better than anyone how difficult it is, to do what is best for the whole. how choosing between "bad" and "worse" is misery. he's thought it every moment of this weekend, as the trial ticked on, and he knows that the burden he is asking chiron to bear is cruel.
xie lian does have his sight. he can see chiron's expression, and xie lian bites his lip, because he knows how that feels. intimately. he does not need to know what has pained chiron's history to know what that expression means. it reminds him of lan qianqiu. of the fangxin guoshi. of decisions that had to be made, of burdens that had to be carried - and of the punishment that came with it. a suffering now centuries and centuries old. ]
...thank you. [ xie lian says, softly, and then, sighs. it's partially relieved, but it's with that same heaviness, too. with sorrow. with empathy.
he lets those heavy emotions sit, for a second, and quietly makes a promise to himself, though he says nothing of it. ]
...Tomorrow... when everything is done, I will come to find you. I hope that you will speak to me.