dianxias | pc catchall | redacted

[ there's a beat, and then chiron will hear the sound of xie lian rustling a bit near him, as he comes to settle down in the grass, too. ]

...I will, the best that I can. [ he shifts, again, wrapping his arms around his knees and looking down. ] ...All of these years that I have lived, all of the things that I have experienced, and I don't think that loss will ever truly become any easier.

... No, it doesn't.

[In that regard, there is only quiet agreement in Chiron's voice]

Perhaps we learn to shoulder the burden with more grace, but it is does not become lighter for our experience.

[ with more grace, indeed. xie lian thinks back on his own life, on the things he has lost. the people, the places. the memories, now, the way grief tinges on the edge of each thing missing. ]

Those wounds are to heal with time, too - but with each passing week here, we lose more and more.

...I was with Shiro, last night. Everything was fine.

[... Turning his head slightly]

Do you have theories, then? As to what might have happened? Or is the very fact that all was well confounds you?

Mm...

I think that the killings have to do with this "splintering nova". I only know a little about it, but I know that it can be infectious, like a disease. I don't know what the signs are, though.

...And, last week, Laine acted oddly. It wasn't very noticeable, but he was very fidgety, and pacing often. I wrote it off as him being nervous about the killings, but he turned up dead the next day. So, I've been keeping an eye out for similar symptoms in others, just in case that was the splintered nova, since Shima confirmed that for us at the trial last week.

...but, there was nothing amiss. [ xie lian looks into his lap, curling his hands into fists. ] At all. We played a game until we were forced to sleep.

So, does that mean that someone acted against him... for some other reason? For a wish, for gathering nova? Or... does it mean that I just missed something, because I wasn't paying close enough attention?

Ah... I have heard of the splintering, yes, though I did not realize it could be infectious.

[Frowning deeply at this]

I cannot say if you missed any cues, of course... until we have more evidence to examine, it might be difficult to know.

[... His voice comes out a bit tired, however, head tilted as his eyes close]

However, Shiro was -- he once warned me that if he lost certain memories, he could easily be persuaded to kill, or think it was necessary. I would argue that it would be the same for many of us here, but because he shared such information with me, I will have no choice but to consider it come tomorrow, out of respect.

[... Voice now soft]

But truly, I hope that my concern is unnecessary, and the trial will be quick and straightforward.

[It never is. But he hopes]

[ IT SURE WASN'T.

anyway. xie lian nods, looking back down at his hands, because this is a back tag and he doesn't know how the trial is going to go. ] I know. I... talked with him earlier this week, after Shima's death, and we came to many of the same conclusions. I think, if it involved protecting people in this place, he would be one of the first to try and bear the burden. Or...at least to take it off the shoulders of the youngest among us.

And were that the case, I am sure he would want to have been caught, if he were still with us today.

[ ... ] ...but he is not, and we only have his mystery left behind.

pc catchall | redacted | chiron

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject